Cartoon Character Ranking The Toons I Want To Pelt With Bricks

We all have cartoon characters that rub us the wrong way. Maybe it's their grating voice, their annoying catchphrases, or their just plain unlikeable personality. Whatever the reason, some toons just make you want to reach for the nearest projectile. This article is a completely subjective and humorous ranking of cartoon characters based solely on how much I, personally, want to pelt them with bricks. Prepare for some controversial opinions and a whole lot of cartoon character slander.

The Brick-Worthy Tier: Characters That Deserve a Full Construction Site

This tier is reserved for the truly offensive. These are the characters that make my blood boil, the ones that actively detract from the viewing experience, and the toons that, frankly, I believe deserve a lifetime supply of bricks hurled in their general direction. We're talking characters that are not just annoying, but actively malicious, unbelievably stupid, or possess a combination of traits that make them the bane of cartoon existence. This is not just a list of characters we dislike; this is a list of characters that evoke a primal urge to throw heavy objects.

First and foremost, let's talk about Caillou. Oh, Caillou. The bald-headed menace, the whiny little brat who throws tantrums over everything. Caillou is the undisputed champion of the Brick-Worthy Tier. His incessant whining, his complete lack of self-awareness, and his parents' baffling inability to discipline him make him a prime target for a barrage of brick-based justice. Every episode is a masterclass in how not to raise a child, and Caillou's behavior is so consistently irritating that I genuinely question the sanity of anyone who willingly subjects themselves to his show. The very sight of his perpetually frowning face is enough to send me reaching for the nearest building material. His bald head practically begs for it, doesn't it? The world would be a better place without Caillou's constant complaints and the enabling environment that allows him to thrive. He is, without a doubt, the most brick-worthy cartoon character of all time. Let's be honest, Caillou is not just a cartoon character; he's a symbol of everything that's wrong with children's television. He's a whiny, entitled, and utterly unlikable character who deserves nothing less than a lifetime ban from our screens. And maybe a few bricks for good measure.

Next up, we have Scrappy Doo. Oh, Scrappy, the nephew of Scooby Doo who somehow managed to make a show about a talking dog and his mystery-solving friends even more annoying. Scrappy's catchphrase, "Puppy power!", is enough to induce a migraine, and his overzealous attempts to be brave and heroic are consistently undermined by his diminutive stature and general incompetence. He's the embodiment of the try-hard character, the one who desperately wants to be cool but ends up being nothing more than a nuisance. Scrappy Doo's introduction was a desperate attempt to revitalize the Scooby Doo franchise, but all he did was make the show significantly worse. He's a testament to the dangers of pandering to younger audiences and a prime example of a character who should have been left on the drawing board. The fact that he's even related to Scooby Doo, a character who is lovable in his own cowardly way, is an insult to the entire canine species. Scrappy Doo is not just annoying; he's an affront to cartoon history. He is a character so detestable that he almost single-handedly ruined a beloved franchise. His presence is a constant reminder of the dangers of bad writing and even worse character design. Bricks are too good for Scrappy Doo; he deserves a whole demolition site.

And then there's D.W. Read from Arthur. While Arthur himself is a relatively decent character, his younger sister D.W. is a masterclass in sibling rivalry and sheer obnoxiousness. D.W. is the epitome of the spoiled little sister, always demanding attention, constantly getting her own way, and generally making life miserable for everyone around her. Her catchphrase, "That's a BAD idea!", is enough to make any viewer cringe, and her constant tantrums and manipulations are a testament to the power of bad parenting. D.W. is the kind of character that makes you wonder why Arthur doesn't just lock her in a closet and throw away the key. She's a constant source of frustration and her antics often overshadow the more positive aspects of the show. D.W. is not just a brat; she's a finely tuned instrument of annoyance. Her every action is calculated to irritate and frustrate, and she succeeds admirably. She is a character so unlikeable that she makes you question the very nature of family dynamics. Bricks may not solve all of D.W.'s problems, but they would certainly provide a satisfying outlet for the viewer's frustration. D.W. is a prime example of a character who is deliberately designed to be annoying, and she excels at her job. She is a walking, talking, and tantrum-throwing testament to the power of bad writing and even worse character design.

The Lightly Peltable Tier: Characters Deserving a Few Well-Aimed Projectiles

This tier is for characters that are irritating, but not quite in the same league as the Brick-Worthy contenders. These are the toons that make you roll your eyes, sigh heavily, and maybe mutter a few choice words under your breath. They're not necessarily evil or malicious, but they possess qualities that make them inherently dislikeable. Think characters with grating voices, repetitive catchphrases, or a general air of smugness. These are the characters that deserve a light peppering of bricks, just enough to send a message, but not enough to cause serious structural damage... to their cartoon facades, of course.

Let's start with Peppa Pig. While Peppa is ostensibly aimed at preschoolers, her bossy and often rude behavior can be incredibly grating for adult viewers. Her snorting laugh is enough to drive anyone to distraction, and her constant demands and pronouncements make her a less-than-endearing character. Peppa's world is one of simplistic plots and repetitive scenarios, and her character embodies this lack of nuance. She's the kind of character that you tolerate for the sake of your children, but secretly wish would just go away. Peppa Pig is not inherently evil, but she is incredibly irritating. Her bossy attitude and snorting laugh are enough to make any viewer reach for the remote, or perhaps, a small brick. She's a character that embodies the worst aspects of children's television: simplistic plots, repetitive dialogue, and a main character who is more annoying than endearing. Peppa's popularity is a mystery to me, and I can't help but wonder if her fans are secretly masochists. A few well-aimed projectiles might not change Peppa's personality, but they would certainly provide a moment of catharsis for the viewer.

Then there's Fanboy and Chum Chum. This dynamic duo from Nickelodeon are the epitome of hyperactive, obnoxious characters. Their high-pitched voices, their nonsensical antics, and their complete lack of self-awareness make them a constant source of irritation. Fanboy and Chum Chum live in a world of their own making, a world where logic and reason have no place. Their adventures are chaotic and often confusing, and their characters are so one-dimensional that they barely register as human beings. Fanboy and Chum Chum are the kind of characters that make you question the sanity of the people who create children's television. They are a testament to the dangers of pandering to the lowest common denominator and a prime example of characters who should have been left on the drawing board. A few bricks might not cure their hyperactivity, but they would certainly make them think twice about their antics. Fanboy and Chum Chum are a reminder that not all cartoons are created equal, and some are simply better off forgotten.

And who could forget Jar Jar Binks from Star Wars: The Clone Wars? While Jar Jar's appearance in the live-action Star Wars films is controversial enough, his continued presence in the animated series is a constant reminder of the character's inherent flaws. His goofy antics, his nonsensical dialogue, and his general air of incompetence make him a liability to any storyline. Jar Jar Binks is the epitome of the comic relief character gone wrong. He's not funny, he's not endearing, and he actively detracts from the viewing experience. Jar Jar's presence in The Clone Wars is a baffling decision, and it's hard to understand why the creators felt the need to include him. A few bricks might not make Jar Jar a better character, but they would certainly make him a quieter one. Jar Jar Binks is a constant reminder that even the best franchises can make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes come in the form of a Gungan.

The Maybe-a-Pebble Tier: Characters Who Might Just Elicit a Gentle Toss

This is the bottom tier, reserved for characters that are mildly irritating, but not quite deserving of a full-on brick assault. These are the toons that might make you sigh or roll your eyes, but ultimately, you can tolerate their presence. Maybe they have a redeeming quality or two, or perhaps their annoying traits are balanced out by other, more likeable characters. These are the characters that might warrant a gentle toss of a pebble, just a little reminder that their behavior is not entirely appreciated.

For instance, take Squidward Tentacles from SpongeBob SquarePants. While Squidward's cynical and grumpy demeanor can be grating at times, he's also a foil to SpongeBob's relentless optimism and a source of much-needed sarcasm in the underwater world of Bikini Bottom. Squidward's misery is often the source of the show's humor, and his constant suffering at the hands of SpongeBob and Patrick makes him a surprisingly sympathetic character. Squidward Tentacles is not a bad character, but he's not exactly a lovable one either. His grumpiness is a defining characteristic, but it's also what makes him relatable to many viewers. A gentle toss of a pebble might not cheer Squidward up, but it would certainly remind him that he's not alone in his misery. Squidward is a reminder that even the most cynical characters can have their moments of vulnerability, and sometimes, a little bit of negativity is necessary to balance out the overwhelming positivity of the world around us.

Then there's Carl Carlson from The Simpsons. Carl is Homer's coworker and friend, but he's often overshadowed by the more outlandish personalities of the show. Carl's calm and collected demeanor can be a welcome contrast to the chaos of Springfield, but his character is also somewhat underdeveloped. Carl Carlson is not an annoying character, but he's not a particularly memorable one either. He's a supporting character who rarely gets his own storylines, and his personality is often defined by his friendship with Lenny. A gentle toss of a pebble might not change Carl's character, but it would certainly make him stand out a little more. Carl is a reminder that even the most well-established shows can have characters that are simply there to fill a space, and sometimes, those characters deserve a little more attention.

And finally, we have Brian Griffin from Family Guy. While Brian is often portrayed as the intellectual and moral center of the show, his smug and self-righteous attitude can be incredibly irritating. Brian's liberal pontificating is often undermined by his own hypocritical behavior, and his constant pursuit of unattainable women makes him a less-than-sympathetic character. Brian Griffin is a complex character, but he's also a deeply flawed one. His intelligence is often used to justify his arrogance, and his attempts at morality are often undercut by his own selfish desires. A gentle toss of a pebble might not cure Brian's smugness, but it would certainly remind him that he's not as smart as he thinks he is. Brian is a reminder that even the most intelligent characters can be deeply flawed, and sometimes, those flaws make them all the more annoying.

This ranking is, of course, entirely subjective and based on my own personal preferences. You may disagree with my choices, and that's perfectly fine. The world of cartoons is vast and varied, and there's plenty of room for different opinions. But if you happen to share my brick-throwing urges, then you know you're not alone. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a construction site...